Keep it in Mind.

I was walking to the bathroom, when suddenly, one of my "friends"...

-Hey!

I slowly turn around, disgusted.

-I have a problem.

-Can you tell to someone else? like... a friend?

He interrupts me
-Is my girlfriend... I think she's cheating on me.

-But, are you sure? I mean, she's been your girlfriend for... what, like 2 years now?... and besides how can you be mad if you cheat on her, almost every week? Does she know you are going to be a dad?

-Look, that's not what we're talking now. I just have this feeling in my guts, it's similar to a fart, but a little solid, that she's cheating on me.

-Look, I don't think that she's cheating on you, she's a nice girl.

-NO, NO don't you come here with that bullshit! you see, there are two types of women: the sluts and the hypocritical sluts. ok? keep that on your mind.

-What do you mean with: Hypocritical sluts?

-You know! the girls are all sluts, they always want to get pregnant having sex, with any guy who comes to her, and there are the Hypocritical sluts, which are the ones who want sex, but they say No, until you gave them flowers, and they give you their flower... if you know what I mean...
Starts doing gestures with his tongue.

-WOW!, you just opened my mind to a whole different point of view... you're just...

I start to walk away to the bathroom and I said to myself...

a bastard sonofthebitch...

I'm having Lunch with my old high school friends... I just listen.

Girls that could be the best girlfriend ever!

Ehm... what about... a Mute?

Yes! that's what I was thinking about! She can't say anything if you're doing something bad...

(I talk)Yeah, but she can hit you in the face, instead of arguing.

They just look at me, then my friends says...

A blind girl... she just "feels", so I can share it with my friends if I want to.

(I talk)Wow, you always thinking on the others...

What can I say? I'm a good friend... And Ale... what do you think?

(Silence) ehrm... I don't want to ta...

(Interrupting me) A GIRL WITH CANCER!...

YEAH!... why?

She had the quimio, she is dizzy, and... THE BEST OF ALL...
Doesn't have any hair! if you know what I mean...oohh... sure.

THEY STARTED TO DO THINGS WITH THEIR TONGUE

At that time I'm was gone... Literally... I left for good.

Because I deserve it every once in a while.

I'm sitting on a bar table, Alone... as Always...
You know I like being alone...

Hi... a girl talks to me

I just nod.

You want to have a drink with me?
No, thanks... I'm waiting for my Girlfriend.
I've seen you since you got here, 2 hours ago...

damn it!

Look I'm sorry, I want to be alone...

You won't be alone if you let me talk to you...

I think about it... I have no choice

I FART... a big one.

the girl just stand up from my side and goes to her table, starts talking with her friends and the waiter who's serving them...

I just light a CIGARRETE

The waiter comes to me...I'm sorry Sir, but I'll have to ask you to leave...

WHAT!? ONLY BECAUSE I FARTED, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT TELLER! FUCK YOU!

Sir... You have to leave because this is a NON-SMOKER place...

(akward silence)

See, see what you've done for sitting on my side...

I Better Get Going.