Sarcasm Kills me Everytime

I've been asdf a lot lately, and IDK why people write in acronyms or web language WTF! are they thinking of writing like that ROFL, why don't you STFU and GTFO!

Stoopid pipol.

Holy Grandma Spatula!

I was hanging out whit the guys and my new date, and even though my friends can be the filthiest, nastiest and awful people on earth, they thought that Susan curse too much.

So, since I'm a good friend I told Susan about it and she asked me for another opportunity, and I let her come with me to this hang out.

We were drinking beer and stuff, when Chris started to talk to Susan, because he thought that she was interesting after all... the conversation goes like this: 

-Chris: Hey, how was the class?

-Susan: good, good.

-Ale: (whispering) He's trying to start a conversation with you.

-Susan: Yeah, it was good, But the Fucking teacher was being a dumbass jerk, with the   fuckin grades, he was being an asshole.

That didn't work out that well.  

'Fending Fucking Friend, Fought Flaytes from Friend's Failure, Falling Fanges

We were fighting against a group of flaytes, when one of them punched me on the tooth.

My friend Laura got angry and shout:

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!...

then hit that flayte on the face so hard, that he felt down on the floor...

And I said something I wanted to say for a long time:

Where's your FUCKING Daddy Yankee now?

It sounded better in my head.